Indirectness Is Not Insecurity

     This excerpt from the book, "Talk from 9 to 5: How Women’s and Men’s Conversational Styles Affect Who Gets Heard, Who Gets Credit, and What Gets Done at Work," written by Deborah Tannen, implies that an indirect or soft approach to issuing directions in the workplace may solicit a better response than a direct command. She provides an example of a directive issued by a male manager to a female employee and a second example of a detailed conversation between a female manager, whose style of delivering a directive is notably ‘softer’, and a male subordinate.  Ms. Tannen supports an indirect approach that offers employees an opportunity to make a decision to accept a command cloaked as suggestion.  

     The tone of the text suggests that male managers are more direct in communicating instructions in the workplace, and that female managers negotiate with employees to accomplish objectives.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Many women in management positions feel the have to prove themselves to their male counterparts and, therefore, take a firm posture when dealing with subordinates.  The example of a ‘soft touch’ management style is often ineffective.  Who do you know that has the luxury of debating with a boss over the content of assignments, male or female?  This kind of exchange can be perceived as insubordinate behavior.  Even if appropriate justification is offered, generally an employee is not allowed the liberty to engage in a lengthy challenge to a request made in the workplace

What about employees who have a tendency to take advantage of managers that exhibit a soft management?  Who wins when poor work ethic is discovered the workplace relationship is broken?.  The manager is now forced to move to a more rigid style of management, productivity is affected and you have an unhappy employee. 

     Ms. Tannen’s writing offers a perspective from the manager and employee standpoint.  Although she spends much more time presenting the example of indirect management, she offers a contrasting opinion in paragraph five by stating, “Some people will find Mark’s direct commands more appropriate; others would find them abrasive.  Some would find Kristen’s indirect directives congenial; others would find them irritating.”  Her position on the issue is obvious as the reader considers the positive comments made toward the conversation between the ‘soft touch’ manager and her subordinate.  Ms. Tannen is very critical of the possible perception that managers with a direct approach may have to a ‘softer’ style.  She states, “People with direct styles of asking others to do things perceive indirect requests as manipulative—if they perceive them as requests at all.  But “manipulative” is often just a way of blaming others for our discomfort with their styles.”  The examples discounting manipulative behavior are noted to convince the readers of her assumptions and personal interpretation. 

     In the end, addressing employees with respect does add great value to the workplace and keeps organizations in compliance with labor laws.  Without question, managerial suggestions with solid feedback from subordinates could offer professional growth for the employee and maybe the manager as well.  Unfortunately, it is probably the exception, not the rule.

A Deadly Education

T. Leigh Maxwell, a student at Clayton State University (CSU), wrote a very thorough, thought-provoking essay on the effects of secondhand smoke in March 2010.  She emphasizes the fact that Clayton State along with many other institutions of higher learning has ignored this issue and the statistics and factual information presented was impressive.  Ms. Maxwell points outs that although CSU does have a smoking ban policy, it is woefully insufficient and does not protect the health and human rights of non-smokers navigating from building to building on campus. In fact, the essay contains quotes from various reports, both governmental and private research, that imply that the toxins in exhaled smoke are extremely harmful, not only to the smoker, but to the innocent non-smoker and raise the risk of contracting any manner of disease that can ultimately lead to death.

She is careful to offer the opposing point of view, but quickly discounts their interpretation of a harmless nature secondhand smoke with information from a reliable and respected source.  By listing Georgia as a state that bans smoking in all restaurants and government buildings, she supports the statement, “Consequently, it is hard to understand why Georgia’s state universities lag behind on the issue of total smoking bands.”

Most agree that smoking is a nasty, self-destructive habit and with the information on the negative effects one does wonder why a person would make the choice to continue.  Granted, smokers have civil and social rights, but non-smokers have a right to a smoke-free environment and to object when that right is violated.  The government is expected to generate legislative issues that affect and protect the majority of its citizens.  Issues that involve the possibility of harm or eventual death deserves attention and the intervention of our elected officials; at minimum a vote by the people and in Ms. Maxwell’s case the student body of CSU.

In Praise of the "F" Word

In Praise of the "F" Word, written by Mary Sherry was a really good article published in Newsweek magazine in 1991. This article was intended to target teachers and the educational school system within the United States. It was a reflection of her observation of how this country has failed in providing adequate education our students. It was really sad to read that children do not try to excel in their studies and subsequently suffer as adults. In agreement with the tone of the article, teachers should not accept or adhere to the excuses of poor environment, such a nice kid so I won't fail them or students with potential doing enough to get by. Excuses should not be an option for the the teacher in deciding whether or not a students passes or fail. Students should be compelled or maybe incented to achieving good grades that translant into a successful, well-rounded education or suffer the consequence of failing the class. Teachers must rise up, show some back bone, develop better teaching techniques and care about the future of our educational system and the students. This country has too many generations upon generations of illiterate children who are not prepared to face life issues and the ability to obtain employment sufficient to sustain themselves. The students that Mary Sherry taught basic skills were woeful examples of what happens when students are not motivated to succeed.

No, students should not accept failure, teachers should not accept failure and our administrators should not accept failure; however, we should all face the truth and maybe the failing of some of these students will be the catalyst that propels them to ultimate success. There will always be that little nagging in the back of their minds, the BIG FAT F WORD!!!

Should This Student Have Been Expelled?

After reading the article, it required reflection. This essay really touch home for all of us. The comments of Doug Hann were very offensive to Black people, Jews and homosexuals. He must have been exposed to and taught racism, anti-Semitic and Homophobic insults. This had to be the topic of discussion in his home environment. What a pitiful situation!

Mr. Gregorian, president of Brown University, may have overstepped what he originally felt the punishment should be when students simple can't cope with reality. Expulsion should have signified that the student must reevaluate his position he took and have his parents reflect on his behavior. The comment "my parents own your people" is a direct result of his upbringing. Doug Hann should have been willing to change his outlook and behavior. How can anyone accept the blame of deeply inbedded hate on alchol? This was not his first time getting drunk and making offensive comments. It was an excuse to act out what has been internalized and an expectation for others to overlook his unpleasant behavior and outburst regardless of the cause. The old saying,"a drunk heart speaks a sober mind." certainly applies in this sitution." Doug Hann did not hurt anyone because friends held him back, but what if they hadn't?

Nat Hentoff developed his argument in this essay very well. After reading the article, it required reflection. This essay really touched home. Drunk drivers are incarcerated because of their behavior and choices. On the other hand, was expulsion to harsh? Would it have been better to assign an activity that would have provided an opportunity to change the heart, mind and perspective of Doug Mann?  The comments were wrong and punishment of some sort was warranted; however, do we have the right in this country to speak our minds or not?  What may appear as 'hate' for one group can be acceptable to another.  It has been said over and over again--This subject requires candid dialogue that just has not happened at any level.

Why We Crave Horror Movies

Stephen King’s essay on, “Why We Crave Horror Movies,” very interesting and explains the dreadful justification he personally offers for developing movies and novels associated with terror and fear. The title should have been "Why I Crave Horror Movies!!" because he is speaking from his point of view and is based on his opinions. He starts off by saying "I THINK WE ARE ALL MENTALLY ILL", this statement alone sets the tone for the essay. It isn't based on any facts at all. He didn't offer statistics, survey results, nor was there any concrete information to support his claims.

He continually illustrates the benefit of feeding into mental illness and attempts to convince the reader that everyone should acknowledge his viewpoint on the acceptance insanity as a normal human condition. His suggestion that he specifically targets young minds and hearts with his drastic accounts of death, murder and chaos borders on criminal. Comparing horror to a “fairy-tale” and a means of relief runs against the average person’s beliefs and value system. Horror movies offer suspense, which is why mean people enjoy a good horror movie. And the degree of analogies presented! Jack the Ripper vs picking your nose are hardly in the same category. Nor would picking your nose prevent anyone from being invited to the best parties. How demonic is Jack the Ripper?

Personally, the final straw was his statement pertaining to those that desire and practice as a way of life the ability to resist the thoughts and actions of anger and negative emotion. Has he had a child or a loved-one act out their insanity and ended up in prison or worse? I think not or he could not in good conscience assert the conclusions included in the essay. Why not just call it entertainment and leave it at that. Stephen King has a very strong introduction because it immediately grasped the attention of the reader, but the conclusion was a bit confusing. It was a convincing essay; however, perhaps as a seemingly insane individual he is trying to convince himself that he has virtue. His fascination for horror is very clear. Writing books and movies based on horror seems to provide some relief for someone like him. Committing himself to an asylum for a reasonable period oftime just might change his opinions on insanity. Ha!

Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain

This eye-opening passage from the book, "The American Way of Death," written by Jessica Mitford was both informative and distressing. Ms. Mitford elected to take on a subject that is rarely a topic of conversation and provide details generally undisclosed outside of the industry of those trained to prepare the deceased for burial. She investigated the way cadavers are handled in America and explains in great detail the process from the time the body is released to the mortician through the preparation for public viewing.

It was interesting to note that in the early history of the United States, a family member was required to be involved in this process serving as oversight to the work being performed on a loved one. This is certainly not the case today and Ms. Mitford implies that it is actually discouraged by funeral directors and for good reason. The process seems cruel and heartless. Although at times described in a satirical tone, it is not lost on the reader that Jessica Mitford’s intention is to entice the reader to her viewpoint by divulging the minute details of the procedure of embalming.
When you think about it, was it necessary to vilify an industry that is trying to comfort those experiencing loss by providing a service that many would not dare to approach? Sure, morticians have to manipulate and reconstruct the body; they are truly cosmetic surgeons most perform amazing work. Talk about skills! If a family has made the choice to hold a memorial service with public viewing, there is no other way to do it. To give credit to Jessica Mitford, full and fair disclosure to the public is noble and necessary. However, why are other options not introduced? In the end by mocking the memorial process, she mocks the grieving family. Does the average person need books or visuals of what goes on after you leave the earth? Personally, we believe that most don't care about the process of embalming the body after death.